No doubt, sex is a wonderful thing when enjoyed in the context of marriage. It’s raw! It’s spectacular! It’s amazing — and our God created it. The fact that the God of the Bible designed sex shows us just exactly how cool He is.
Now you’re a single, and you’ve lived long enough to know that it is possible to abuse this fantastic creation. You’ve seen the negative consequences for misusing sexuality, and you want to do the right thing. Easier said than done, right? Well let’s take a look a handful of practical ways to do sex right.
10 Hot Tips for Doing Sex Right
1. Trust Jesus. If you haven’t already trusted in Jesus as your Savior, you need to do this. When you accept Jesus, God has promised to give you the help you need to deal with the many temptations that chase after you so ferociously. You are not alone in this battle.
2. Embrace Desire. Realize that sexual desire is natural. It isn’t dirty. It’s just right! God designed your body to feel sexual desire, and that desire will have an important purpose once you’re married. Appreciate it!
3. The Golden Rule. Follow the golden rule by respecting your future spouse — wherever he or she may be right now. Ask yourself: “Would I want my future spouse doing this right now?” If not, then don’t do it yourself. Make a practice of behaving exactly the way that you’d hope your future spouse is behaving. This is a fantastic way to love your future lover before you even meet them!
4. Resist Compromise. If you are dating someone, don’t compromise sexually with them. This can greatly reduce trust. Why do I say this? Because if they will compromise with you now before you are you marry them, who’s to say they won’t compromise behind your back after you tie the knot?
5. Accept Accountability. If you really want to do sex right by waiting until you’re married, choose to have a trusted friend hold you accountable in this area. Meet for coffee with this person on a regular basis. Tell this person the sexual purity boundaries you have set up for yourself, and ask them to hold you accountable. Above all, be honest in these coffee meetings!
6. Kill Your Computer. Let’s be honest, there is no easy way to deal with the porn issue — especially for guys. Computers are just too accessible. If you struggle with this ugly giant, you should know that your commitment to accountability must be hardcore. (Pun intended.) I once knew someone that got rid of their computer in order to dethrone their porn problem. I knew another person who put website-tracking software on their computer that sent a list of every website they visited straight to another friend’s email. I knew a person that committed to destroy their new computer with a hammer if they ever looked at porn on it. Best of all, I know a person who made a year-long commitment with their accountability partner that he would call his mother up and tell her what he had done if he looked at porn.
7. Watch Your Position. Be careful what positions you let yourself get into. Watching a movie in the dark with someone from the opposite sex? Not a great idea. Laying down on a couch with a friend of the opposite sex? Dumb. If you have let yourself get in a position where compromise is possible, you’ve already failed. Be smart, and don’t put yourself in tempting situations.
8. It’s Only Temporary. Encourage yourself that this complete resistance is only temporary. Your body is raging with desire, but when you finally walk the aisle you will be free to let it loose with the one you love.
9. Pray for Your Future Spouse. Even before you’re get hitched, PRAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE. Pray that God will strengthen them, and pray that God will lead them to you in His perfect timing. The prayers of the believer are incredibly effective, and every time you pray it will remind you that she or he is actually out there somewhere.
10. Resistance Makes Strong. There is no other area in life that can test you, challenge you, and push you around like sexual temptation can. Get tough. There is no better way to show God how much you love Him than by fighting this battle with all of your strength. If there is anything in the world that will make you strong in the heart, it is the test of sexual temptation. FIGHT!
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